Sidris Is

$peoplewho: Chapter 1: HOW TO BE A BETTER BLOGGER Oh hello there, I’m The PEOPLE WHO’s wireless G, and it must be almost annually that I am recognized in public by an adoring “fan.” Usually I am able to fend them off without losing many teeth, but on those occasions that prove non-violent I am invariably asked the same question: how do I get to Pike and Broadway from here? And my response never wavers: YES, I will tell you how to be a better blogger in seven easy steps! The result, often, is a gratitude so profound, some mistake it for confusion followed by anger. But as a Professional Blogger who is somehow managing to have a wood-pulp version of his work self-published, I feel I have a responsibility to pass along my hard-earned wisdom. Press on, and with a little time and patience, you may garner (a small fraction of) the success I have enjoyed! Write about subjects you have never even heard of before: no one likes a know it all. Avoid gimmicks like “animated GIFs,” “color images” and “coherent prose.” Your audience deserves a little more respect than that. Refer to celebrities by their first names only: people may think you’ve slept with them. And hey, who’s to say you haven’t, if you get my drift. Be sure to suck on a lime wedge every few months: great blogging is scurvy-free blogging. If you do decide to include Photographic Plates in your blog, be sure they are of yourself making a kissy-face toward the camera: this will never go out of style. Some will tell you finding the best “web hosting solution” is important for any blog: malarkey! Try hand-writing your blog on a yellow legal pad, and inviting “followers” over to flip through it over a mug of delicious yoo-hoo: you may discover the RSS feed of Friendship. Consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, I always say! Be sure to occasionally abandon your blog for months or years at a time: this will keep them guessing. Bonus Tip: Got any old nudie pics of your ex stashed away? Nothing brings in the page-views like a plump pair of buttocks.$ 5 months ago / 105 notes

hungoverowls:

“You know those brief moments when everybody’s mouth is closed and no sounds are being made? Highlight of my goddamn day.”

my prayer

5 months ago / 655 notes

5 months ago / 467 notes

5 months ago / 690 notes

dreammeup:

Jeff Brouws
“Burning Car, Needles, California” (1992)

5 months ago / 82 notes

hungoverowls:

“Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I can’t take anybody’s bullshit right now. You’re just the closest.”

mi vida

5 months ago / 220 notes

5 months ago / 2 notes

hungoverowls:

“Sure, I’d be glad to help, but I gotta warn you- it would divert precious energy from my efforts to not fucking kill you.”

5 months ago / 616 notes

5 months ago / 55 notes

bestpostarchive:

Featured on Best Post Archive || All the best Posts from Tumblr

amen

5 months ago / 8680 notes

hungoverowls:

“I’m going to have to log off my twitter and my tumblr and all that shit for a couple hours. I can’t really deal with how stupid everybody is right now.”

Every day.

5 months ago / 321 notes

kill my landlord

Asshat tore down my fence, even hauled off all the debris. A week ago.

He hasn’t come back.

No privacy, no security. Hope he gets severe hemorrhoids.

5 months ago / 0 notes

Nutrition_and_cancer_by_Dr_Ogilvie.pdf (application/pdf Object) »

Cancer and Nutrition in Canines

6 months ago / 0 notes

“

“This whole time, I’ve been testing your ability to pick up on social cues. Since you never shut the fuck up, I’m sorry to say that you have failed.”

what I will tell da Freef.

”

Hungover Owls

(Source: hispanicallyspeakingnews.com)

9 months ago / 402 notes

URLsquid »

I enjoy stuff that’s off the beaten path (e.g. delicio.us) and free. URLsquid posts links and their descriptions directly to Facebook. It’s still in development but easy to use.

9 months ago / 0 notes